I'm Tired.....

It seemed like the perfect situation when we first came out to Ohio. I'd work the graveyard shift full-time and be able to be home with Tucker during the day while Nate was at school, then Nate could watch him at night for a few hours until he fell asleep, then could get his studying done. Was it the perfect situation? Not so much!

That's right. I'm tired....of many things. For instance.....

-I'm tired of missing weekend get-togethers
-I'm tired of making Tucker entertain himself in the mornings while I sleep
-I'm tired of sleeping the days away when it is gorgeous outside
-I'm tired of missing church (or parts of it) almost every Sunday
-I'm tired of seeing Nate for 1 hour some days, some days not at all
-I'm tired of being emotional and getting nauseated because my sleep schedule is never the same from day-to-day
-I'm tired of dealing with crazy patients
-I'm tired of working weekends...the only time I can spend time with people
-I'm tired of being on the opposite schedules of everyone I'm around
-I'm tired of pretending that I can do it all, because I can't!
-And most of all, I'm tired of being tired, and need somewhat of a normal life back!

So what am I going to do about my tiredness? I am cutting my hours back to part-time! The day...May 25th. That's right, we are going to be back to being broke college students like everyone else, living a little bit off of loans, but I'll still make enough to pay most of the bills. But this is not about the money. This crazy night schedule prevents me from being myself, I cannot spend all 4 years in Ohio being a zombie (or on auto-pilot), a mom that is only there half the time for my child, and an emotional wreck when I don't get decent amounts of sleep. The money is not worth it. So there may be some extra loans by the time we get to the end of our time here, but it is definitely not worth the way we are living right now. Is this the answer to my problems, no....but it's a start! One more day a week I can spend raising my child fully awake and alert is worth all of it. I feel good about saving us the out-of-state tuition this year (which is a ridiculous amount by the way), plus the money I have made, and that is good for me! I made it, and we'll see how part-time (2 days a week, 12 hour days) goes, if that doesn't work for our family in the next little while, we will have to explore yet other alternatives.

This is a leap of faith for us, being in this amount of debt terrifies me....but we know that our Father in Heaven is watching out for us every step we take!